Friday, September 13, 2013

Consequences

Case Manager called me today.  She thinks they've cured Daughter.  I hope she's right.  They're looking for meaningful consequences, and wondered about taking away choir.  Choir is the only independent activity Daughter has with the general public, and is a wonderful support for her.  I said I had concerns about doing that, and suggested that it might be better to take away her TV for a while.  I don't know what they'll decide.  I said I'd support whatever decision they made. 

I also shared some of my concerns regarding communication.  I have intentionally stayed out, telling Daughter she has a voice and needs to use it.  I'm going to encourage Daughter to start telling CM her concerns.  CM says one of the staff members left because she's pregnant.  I said Daughter needs to be told what's going on.  She says they can't tell her due to confidentiality.  I suggested they could tell her that this staff member has resigned and moved on to other things.  After our conversation, I realized that for them this is simply a staff member.  For Daughter, it's a family member.  You shouldn't find out a family member isn't coming back by seeing their bedroom emptied of all of their possessions. 

We had our children's ministry at the church tonight.  I had a blast leading singing and building Noah's ark with the kids while I told the story.  The kids had a great time.  Daughter helped with the crafts, and didn't complain.  After I did the opening.  I sat in my study and read. 

I saw the orthopedic doctor today.  He's delighted with my arm.  He said he didn't need any more x-rays.  I'm supposed to go back in May to talk about removing the hardware.  We'll have another discussion about it then-- I might consider it if I didn't have to have general anesthesia....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Losing TV privileges for awhile seems like a better consequence in this instance. Can your DD tell you why she speaks forbidden food? Is it a game to her to be able to outsmart the people in charge of locking it up, or does her body crave sugar? I've known a few diabetics who weren't mentally challenged who couldn't resist sneaking sugary snacks or drinking alcohol.

Reverend Mom said...

I think there are a variety of reasons for it.

1. Like my many children adopted out of the foster care system, she was hungry for the first 3 years of her life. She still worries about having enough.

2. She's testing them, to see if they will keep her safe from herself.

3. It's a control issue-- you can't control me.

4. It's a bit of a game to her.

5. Sometimes she'll say she's hungry, but I am doubtful.