Grief

We had a wonderful Sunday today.  Attendance was excellent-- we only had 2 chrismons left after the service, so we'll have to make some more this week-- we thought we had enough to last through Advent.  This is the second year we've given beaded chrismons to the congregation as a necklace to wear through Advent and then hang on their Christmas trees.  The program we had this morning went very well.  The people loved it.  A good group stayed to decorate and to share a fellowship meal.

We were getting ready to leave, and one of our older women was struggling with stuff she was trying to carry out of the church.  As I was coming around a corner, I heard Daughter offering to help her carry things.  Then Daughter said, "You're dropping things."  It turns out she had a partial bag of chips she was carrying upside down, and the chips were falling out all over the place.  Daughter and the woman started picking them up while I went to get the vacuum cleaner.  When I came back, she was down on the floor picking up the chips.  I was reminded of Mom, who used to get down like that to clean the floor.  Daughter was telling her that she should go home and we would finish the clean up.  She said, "I'd go home if I could find my keys."  Her small purse was open, and there were no keys there.  I suggested she check her pockets.  She said she had, but she reached in them again, and when she pulled out a scarf, we heard her keys jingle.  She got them out and headed out.  I used the vacuum to get up the rest of the crumbs, and then we headed out, too.

After I dropped Daughter off at her house, I felt this wave of sadness sweep over me.  I was remembering Mom.  This is our 4th Christmas without her.  She loved Christmas, and I find myself thinking of her frequently at this time of year.  I thought it would get easier, but it seems to be getting harder.  I tell people that grief is like that.  It comes up at surprising times.  We are having a Blue Christmas service this Wednesday.  I guess I need the comfort it will provide this year....