Mama Bear Time

Daughter called this evening.  She started out mad, and ended up sobbing. 

Every day staff at the house transport the men and women from the two houses to their programs.  Daughter is dropped off last, as she is the only one going to the program she attends 4 days a week.  There have been some issues with her getting their later than the program likes.  I've stayed out of it, because program and house staff need to figure it out between them. 

The program is going on an outing tomorrow, and plan to leave at 9:30.  A staff member told Daughter that if she couldn't get there by 9:29 she might as well stay home because they would all be gone and the building would be locked up.  She told Daughter it was her responsibility to get herself there on time.  Daughter told her she couldn't control the time she got there, and the staff member told her she could. 

Daughter told me about the things that delay them:  the men are still eating breakfast and don't have their lunches ready.  One of the women refuses to get out of the van at her program.   I call Daughter my cuckoo clock, because she watches the clock and is always worried that we will be late.  I can imagine how stressful this situation is for her.  Among the comments she made:  “I’m not worth anything.”  “It’s not fair to put me in the middle.”  “I wish I could get a hug from you tonight, Mom.”  “I might as well stay home 5 days a week.”  “I don’t belong anywhere.”

I just sent out an email, and asked that Daughter not be put in the middle of these situations.  I said staff needed to communicate directly with one another.  We'll see what response it gets.  I also told Daughter she needs to talk to her program director and her house director about the issues.  I wish I could give her a hug this evening.